Family and Football

Family and Football

“Men”, he used to say, “Your priorities should be God, family and football, in that order”. So said Coach Traficano to us many years ago. He always called us “Men”. He was the first to address us that way and it sounded strange as I considered myself a boy. At any rate, that was the first time I ever heard that expression and I didn’t really think much about it at the time, after all, I was only 15 and didn’t give much thought to anything. But over the years it became more meaningful, especially when I began my own coaching career. Now that the season is underway, and we’re heavily involved in all aspects of coaching our teams, it becomes very easy to neglect our wives and families and pour ourselves into our job. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have a competitive program and must put in long hours to accomplish this. We owe it to our players to give them our very best effort. On the other hand, our families also deserve our very best of being a good father and husband. So, back to Coach Traficano’s exhortation of God, family and football. What exactly does that look like?

In my opinion that will look different for each of us. These are very personal matters and each of us is in a different situation. It is up to each coach to decide what that should look like for him. For example, in Tony Dungy’s book, Quiet Strength, he speaks much about the importance of his family and of the efforts he made to give them time. For an NFL coach he may have different schedules or guidelines than a high school or college coach. He made sure that he and his staff were home by 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. most evenings. That was in comparison to many NFL coaches that kept their staff working until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. watching film of everything from drills in practice to opponent’s games. The head coaches I worked for in high school tried to get us home by 7:00 p.m. most days. I was very thankful that I worked for coaches who gave their families a high priority. Oh, don’t get me wrong, we put in many hours of scouting and film work and we had many successful seasons, but we made an effort to draw the line when we could. Another example is a choice that I made when I was very young man of about 24 or 25. I had gotten fairly interested in golfing with my father or friends and started going out on Sunday mornings. After all, I worked hard and deserved a little R&R I told myself. But I soon decided that I had a higher priority and decided that Sunday mornings I would take my family to church. I had to put God first, take care of my family, and then tend to my job. I stuck with this my entire life and feel like I made the right decision. For others of you, it may be something completely different. Of course, if you ask my wife she would tell you I could have done much better of making time for my family but I think I did the best I could.

I now realize the importance of what a wise coach told me years ago. I would encourage you to do the same. My four children are all grown now and out of the house with their own families. In fact, my son is a head football coach himself here in Illinois. All of them start the week by taking their families to church to start the week. I guess I started a pretty good habit. Thoughts?